Tea and Hellfire
by Akela Victoire
Summary: Two of the most feared beings in existence sit together in Hell, talking about the banes of their existence…


_****_5 YEARS! Five years of me writing fanfiction!_** This is part if a series of updates and new oneshots going from today, September 30th, 2014 to October 7th 2014, to celebrate my joining this site all the way back in 2009! Plenty more stuff to come from me this week in celebration!**_

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><p>"Thanks for coming, Grim." Him said in his eerie-high pitched tone.<p>

"No problem, man. I only glad to get away from those pesky children…" Grim muttered.

They were standing just outside the entrance to Him's sinister-looking castle on top of the floating chunk of black rock somewhere in another realm, filled with filled with shadows and otherworldly beings.

"So how's life in the Mortal World for you?" Him led Grim into his Viewing Room,which was an almost completely empty room except for what looked like television screens covering every inch of the red walls.

"Could be much, MUCH better." Grim watched as Him clapped his claws and two black chairs with red cushions and a small, black coffee table appeared, hovering above the pink-carpeted floor.

"I know… Same here…" Him brought the chairs closer to the table and took his seat, gesturing for Grim to do the same.

"Cookies? Crackers? Coffee? Cake? Tea?" Him waved a claw and each of the aforementioned items appeared on the table, and a white, knitted tablecloth sat beneath the items.

"I'll take the tea and a few cookies. What kind do you have?" Grim asked.

"Oatmeal Raisin, Chocolate Chip and those lovely sugar cookies that the mortals make that come in the tin." Him gestured to the cookie platter.

"Oh yes. Those are especially delicious. Full of sugary death." Grim said. "De children back in Endsville should eat them more so they can die of diabetes related complications..."

"Yes and I find it so deliciously evil when people store things in those tins and put them away. Then when others find the tin and think they're going to find a delicious sugary treat..." Him laughed.

"...they find old junk instead." Grim joined Him in his laughter.

"Oh yes. So amusing..." Him waved his claw and his cup of coffee began to stir itself as milk and sugar poured itself in. He waved his claw again and the milk and sugar containers disappeared.

"So... Talk in the Underworld says that you're actually spending time in the Mortal World and have been for a while. How did that come to be?" Him asked, sipping his coffee.

"I made a bad bet with two brats. Came to reap the soul of the dog that belonged to one of them and she cheated. Mind you, I cheated too, but she actually out-cheated me..." Grim pouted.

"A little girl... out cheated the Grim Reaper?" Him raised an eyebrow.

"Hey! That is no ordinary little girl. She's evil, mon. EVIL, I tell you!" Grim exclaimed.

"You get bossed around by a little girl..." Him laughed in amusement.

"Nothing compared to you. I hear you get beaten occasionally by three little girls even younger than the one I have to deal with on a daily basis." Grim chortled. "I know some of the monsters that live in the Underworld tell stories of what their friends and relatives that live in the Mortal World on Monster Isle say it's like with these little girls, but surely it's exagggerated..."

"You shut up!" Him sat up straight in his chair. "Those little brats have superpowers! And anyway, they're much more scared of me than they are of any of the other villains and monsters that terrorise Townsville on a daily basis!"

"That may be true, but still... What do they call dem again? Oh... yes. De Powerpuff Girls. You got beaten by a bunch of kindergartener girls calling themselves such a cutesy little name..." Grim laughed.

"They're no ordinary little brats." Him went into full rage bode, towering over Grim, but he seemed completely unbothered by it.

He had, after all, seen Mandy at her worst...

"Still brats though. Anyway, they couldn't ever compete wit' Mandy back in Endsville..." Grim said.

"Yeah right." Him waved his claw dismissively. "She's just one cute little girl with no powers at all!"

"Mandy be far from cute. She be the most not-cute little girl you'll ever see, mon..." Grim shuddered at the thought.

"And those Powerpuff Girls... _I hate those Powerpuff Girls... _Messing with their minds and crushing their little souls every chance I get is fun, though..."

"I'm looking forward to Mandy's... _special day_ wit' me and I get to send 'er down here. Then you'll see what Hell is really supposed to be..." Grim muttered.

"Too bad those Powerpuff Girls are way too goody-goody to ever be sent down here. I mean, they were _literally_ made out of sugar and spice! And everything nice! _How did Professor Utonium manage to make living, breathing brats out of basic confectionary ingredients?!_" Him raged.

"De Chemical X did it man. De infernal Chemical X. How did this Professor Utonium get hold of some of dat anyway? Wasn't dat something native to de Underworld?" Grim wondered.

"I believe you can blame one... Fred Fredburger for that."

"Damn that Fred Fredburger. Nobody likes 'im."

"Not even my demons here can tolerate him."

"Mandy hates him too. One ting we can both agree on." Grim muttered.

"Anyway, it was nice having you over for tea, but I can sense that someone wants to trade their soul in exchange for something else from me..." Him stood up and he shook Grim's bony hand with his claw.

"And there's lots of people waiting out dere to die. So I got lots of souls to be splittin' between you and the other guy up dere..." Grim glanced upwards.

"I hate that guy up there." Him growled, a hint of his truly demonic voice returning at the words.

"We both do." Grim agreed. "Nice chattin' with you, Him, but like we both know, duty calls..." Grim summoned his scythe as a mass of dark purple and black shadows gathered around his hand and the blade glinted as the scythe finally solidified in his grip.

"I'm outta 'ere." Grim tapped the scythe on the pink-carpeted floor twice and was suddenly gone.

"The Grim Reaper. Such a showoff..." Him laughed to himself as he disappeared from his lair in a burst of flame.


End file.
